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Opinion

WHY IS LIFE FULL OF QUESTIONS BUT NOT ANSWERS?

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                                                                    MORALS IN LIFE

Every hour of every day we question the morals of life and the roles that people act in our daily lives. Despite this we are divided between a line where one hand we may see life full of happiness, romance and trust. However life can be encountered by violence due to a breakdown in relationships and anticipated by a number of factors which include the lack of financial and social needs.

One of the largest steps any person can take is marriage. These days divorce rates are very high and in my opinion the time to reduce high divorce rates must be acted upon as soon as possible. One method before deciding the large leap to marriage is find some activities that you enjoy and test your partner to see if they enjoy it as well. Why? In some cases testing your partner can lessen the chances when you are married that your life is not boring. In addition individuals must remember the sense of humor that your partner exposes can mean the different between a boring life and a life full of prosperity, romance and trust.The following quote is from a unknown source.

"What is more important to you the love you share, the memories you have or the lover? Give love a chance to swallow you up. Don't just think it will happen in a instant, it will suprise you before you know it, but it will be the most rewarding experience you will ever have."

"In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts, an enabler rather than a reformer".
H. Norman Wright and Gary J. Oliver

The following was adapted from Speaker's Sourcebook II by Glenn Van Ekeren:
Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.
Sam Levenson

The following quote is from a anonymous source:

"No matter how ugly you think you are, that special someone that loves you believes you are the most beautiful and irresistable thing on earth and nothing can ever change that."

One of the the rules I always had in life was Sleep, Socialize and Study. Sleeping is important not only to recharge the brains after at least 8 hours of sleep, but to allow us to grow at a certain point, which in many aspects can be up to the age of 18. However socializing should not be ruled out as many benefit in self confidence later in life. Many managers receive self esteem while they are young and open minded to many changes in their lives. In my opinion studying is one of the most important aspects of life, for example Natalie Portman who is a role model to many women once said "I'm going to college. I don't care if it ruins my career. I'd rather be smart than a movie star." Additionally in regards to this Education is the most importance aspect in life. To succeed in life you must follow steps in achieving goals like a never ending tunnel where it never ends until a solution is found. Many teenagers believe education is waste of time and rather they would be involved in drugs and gangs. However education is like gold, a possession that if you don't grab it in both hands you may lose it forever.
Life is full of potential, setbacks,  prosperity and achievement but the answer is progress to understand these values which are implemented in life.

"Life without love is like a tree without blossom and fruit".
Kahlil Gibran

 

                                                            CHALLENGES IN LIFE

Life is a challenge no matter what generation you were born in ether in the Silent generation (before 1945), Baby Boomers (late 1940s till 1969), Generation X (1970-1979) and Nintendo Generation or known as Generation Y (1980 till 2003). We take many things for granted not only from friends and family but from society as a whole. In Addition in the film Forest Gump when Tom Hanks says in the movie "Life is like a box of Chocolates" people must understand the chocolate in my opinion (in the current circumstances) represents wealth that if it is not properly taken care of then their is a likehood of the individual facing the consequences. Furthermore It does not matter where in the world who you are as long as you try to achieve the goals that not only assists the future of your lives but also health and well being of your parents and family. Many adolescents believe that parents just cause trouble and should mine their own business. However, the relationship between parents and teenagers show that parents are the rock and a child is their soul, where these combine the true meaning of a relationship will be understood. I believe if a child wishes to question the authority of their parents why not do the following. If you are struggling in school and your parents say stop wasting time with your friends and concentrate on your studies, try pretending your going out with your friends and instead go to a library or a quiet environment other then your room to study. In your final year if you do this and receive the grades you worked hard for then surprise your parents with your achievement and I a guess the rest of your career is up to you. Keep in mind that high school is cool  if you stay off the drugs, alcohol and smoking because you are not only helping yourself but also your future. In life image is important but having a stable career, family and friends are more important. Every generation is different, but to learn the mistakes of previous generations makes all the difference when decisions and opportunities arise.

"Many of life's circumstances are created by three basic choices: the disciplines you choose to keep, the people you choose to be with; and, the laws you choose to obey".
Charles Millhuff

                    WHAT REALLY IS THE AGE OF MATURITY AND WHAT  DOES IT MEAN?

In many religions the age of maturity differs due to the beliefs of individuals. In some cases maturity can occur at the age of 13, 15, 18 or 21 . However maturity has nothing to do with age but rather with the attitude that a individual reveals towards people. When a individual turns 18 or 21 it is a significant step towards adulthood. Although the older a person becomes the wiser he/she shall become in facing many challenges in life.

Nevertheless in my opinion the true age of maturity is 35 , when a individual reaches this age he/she shall in some cases they have a stable job, children and a family. The Story Bin regards maturity as "lives that are a maze of broken promises, former friends, unfinished business, and good intentions that somehow never materialize". Also it expresses that maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat, without complaint or collapse. Maturity is humility. It is being big enough to say, "I was wrong." And, when right, the mature person need not experience the satisfaction of saying, "I told you so."

       These are many challenges that face the daily lives of million of couples, singles and nuclear families. In the world today their are more individuals who have not taken the large step towards maturity. However maturity is like a time line if the individual does not complete one section of the time line the door is locked until the maturity of the individuals grows. Finally as Albert Einstein (1879-1955) once said " I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity".

`GOTCHA!'  TWENTY-FIVE BEHAVIOR TRAPS GUARANTEED TO EXTEND YOUR STUDENTS' ACADEMIC AND SOCIAL...
(INTERVENTION IN SCHOOL & CLINIC)

Describes effective natural reinforcers that teachers can use in the
classroom to help students develop positive and constructive knowledge
and skills

Like many fifth graders struggling with reading and math, Carlos experiences
school as tedious and unrewarding. With few friends of his own, Carlos
finds that even recess offers little reprieve. But he does find solace
in his baseball cards, often studying, sorting, and playing with them
in class. His teacher, Ms. Greene, long ago lost count of the number
of times she had to stop an instructional activity to separate Carlos
and his beloved baseball cards. Then one day, when she approached
Carlos' desk to confiscate his cards in the middle of a lesson on
alphabetization, Ms. Greene discovered that Carlos had already alphabetized
all the left-handed pitchers in the National League! Being the insightful
and ever-creative teacher that she is, Ms. Greene realized she'd found
the secret to sparking Carlos' academic development.

Carlos was both astonished and thrilled to learn that Ms. Greene not
only let him keep his baseball cards at his desk, but also encouraged
him to "play with them" during class. Before long, Ms. Greene had
incorporated baseball cards into learning activities across the curriculum.
In math, Carlos calculated averages; in geography, he located the
hometown of every major leaguer born in his state; and in language
arts, he wrote letters to his favorite players requesting an autographed
photo. Carlos began to make significant gains academically, and an
improvement in his attitude about school was also apparent.

But school became really fun for Carlos when some of his classmates
began to take an interest in his knowledge of baseball cards and all
the wonderful things you could do with them. Ms. Greene helped Carlos
form a classroom Baseball Card Club, giving him and his new friends
opportunities to develop and practice new social skills as they responded
to their teacher's challenge to think of new ways to integrate cards
into the curriculum.

How did all these dramatic and wonderful changes in Carlos occur?
Skills that Carlos had not acquired before were now being practiced,
mastered, and used in a wide variety of meaningful ways. Much to
both his and his teacher's delight, Carlos had been ensnared by a
"behavior trap."

WHAT IS A BEHAVIOR TRAP?

Baer and Wolf (1970) were the first to use the term behavioral trap
in describing how natural contingencies of reinforcement operate to
promote and maintain generalized behavior changes. They compared the
operation of a behavior trap to that of the common household mousetrap:

Consider, for example, that very familiar model, the mouse trap. A
mouse trap is an environment designed to accomplish massive behavior
modification in a mouse. Note that this modification has thorough
generality: the change in behavior accomplished by the trap will be
uniform in all environments, it will extend to all of the mouse's
behaviors, and it will last indefinitely into the future. Furthermore,
a mouse trap allows a great amount of behavioral change to be accomplished
by a relatively slight amount of behavioral control. A householder
without a trap can, of course, still kill a mouse. He can wait patiently
outside the mouse's hole, grab the mouse faster than the mouse can
avoid him, and then apply various forms of force to the unfortunate
animal to accomplish the behavioral change desired. But this performance
requires a great deal of competence: vast patience, super-coordination,
extreme manual dexterity, and a well-suppressed squeamishness. By
contrast, a householder with a trap need very few accomplishments:
If he can merely apply the cheese and then leave the trap where the
mouse is likely to smell that cheese, in effect he has guaranteed
general(ized) change in the mouse's future behavior.

The essence of a trap, in behavioral terms, is that only a relatively
simple response is necessary to enter the trap, yet once entered,
the trap cannot be resisted in creating general behavior change. For
the mouse, the entry response is merely to smell the cheese. Everything
proceeds from there almost automatically: The householder need not
have more control over the mouse's behavior than to get him to smell
the cheese, yet he accomplishes thorough change in behavior. (Baer
& Wolf, 1970, p. 321, emphasis added)

Effective behavior traps have four essential features: (1) They are
"baited" with powerful, virtually irresistible reinforcers that "lure"
the student to the trap. (2) Only a small, easy-to-perform response
that is already in the student's repertoire is necessary to enter
the trap. (3) Once the student is inside the trap, interrelated contingencies
of reinforcement motivate the student to acquire, extend, and maintain
targeted academic and/or social skills (Kohler & Greenwood, 1986).
(4) They can remain effective over a long period of time because the
student shows relatively few, if any, satiation effects.

Behavior traps are all around us. And it's not just school children
who get trapped. Behavior traps are particularly evident in each of
our lives in the activities we "just can't get (or do) enough of."
Consider the case of the "reluctant bowler":

A young man is persuaded to fill in as a substitute for a friend's
bowling team. He has always regarded bowling as uncool, an activity
for persons not like himself. And bowling looks so easy on television
that he does not see how it can be considered a real sport. Nevertheless,
he is persuaded to go, just to help out this one time. During the
evening he finds out that bowling is not nearly so easy as he has
always thought (he has a history of being reinforced by athletic challenges)
and also that some very nice people whom he would like to get to know
are avid bowlers (i.e., it is a mixed doubles league). Within a week
he has purchased a custom-fitted bowling ball, a bag, and shoes; has
twice practiced on his own; and has signed up for the next league
season. (Heward, 1987, p. 571)

This example illustrates the fundamental nature of behavior traps:
easy to enter and difficult to exit. Behavior traps can also be maladaptive,
such as alcoholism, drug addiction, and juvenile delinquency. The
everyday term vicious circle refers to the natural contingencies of
reinforcement that operate in destructive behavior traps. Teachers,
however, can learn to build and set behavior traps that function
as "success circles" to help students develop positive, constructive
knowledge and skills.

SETTING UP A BEHAVIOR TRAP

Creating and using behavior traps involves five steps:

1. Identify Your Prey.

2. Find Some Powerful Bait.

3. Set the Trap.

4. Maintain Your Trap Line.

5. Appraise Your Catch.

Step 1: Identify Your Prey

The most effective and efficient trappers know exactly the kind of
"catch" they are after and set prey-specific trap lines. The first
step in creating a classroom behavior trap is to decide what kind
of academic or social skills you are after. Many students; especially
those with special learning needs, have numerous skill deficits, and
any single behavior trap--no matter how powerful--is not likely to
change them all.

Considerations that should go into determining which knowledge and
skill areas to target for trapping should include the following:

1. In which area does the student most need help? Use the power of
a behavior trap for those academic or social skills in which the student
needs the most assistance.

2. Are you trapping for relevant prey? Remember the "relevance of
behavior role" (Allyon & Azrin, 1968), and target only knowledge and
skills that will contact naturally existing contingencies of reinforcement
after you are no longer minding the trap--in other words, functional
skills that are or will be frequently demanded and clearly useful
in students' present and future environments after you are no longer
minding the trap.

3. Are you targeting behaviors that lend themselves to frequent practice
opportunities? Students learn faster and better when they receive
frequent opportunities to actively practice and use new skills and
knowledge (He-ward, 1994). There is little benefit in designing an
elaborate trap that can only be used once every 2 or 3 weeks.

4. Are you beginning with "small game" and gradually and systematically
working your way up to larger prey? When Ms. Greene discovered that
Carlos had already alphabetized some of his baseball cards, she properly
resisted the temptation of immediately requiring him to produce a
large, multicomponent language arts assignment with the cards. Following
Ms. Greene's example, use your trap for smaller prey at first, and
then gradually lure the bigger catch later.

Step 2: Find Some Powerful Bait

Once the target skills have been identified, the teacher is ready
to find some good bait. Any trap is only as effective as the bait
with which it is set. Make an inventory of your students' interests
with the intention of using their most zealous preoccupation as irresistible
trap bait, like the most delicious cheese for the mousetrap. How do
you determine those interests? Perhaps ironically, discovering the
most effective bait requires the least amount of searching.

The best bait is usually the most obvious. Shakela, for example, just
loves horse. She constantly talks about horses, always chooses books
about horses, and draws pictures of horses. Shakela has horse cut-
outs pasted on her notebooks, horse patches sewn to her jacket, and
a horse pendant hanging around her neck. Her teacher will have no
difficulty determining what to use as bait for Shakela's trap. It
is when students do not make their interests so apparent that the
teacher will need to search.

A topic or activity is likely to be effective as bait to the degree
that a student (a) engages in or expresses interest in it, (b) spends
time on it, and (c) relates to it in a variety of ways. How often
does Brian talk about motorcycles? How much time in one sitting does
he spend looking at books about motorcycles? Does he draw pictures
of motorcycles? Are all of his written compositions about motorcycles,
regardless of the content of the day's story starter? Does he collect
or make model motorcycles? Does he mimic the sounds of a motorcycle
while moving about the classroom? If the answers to these questions
are "Several times each day," "hours at a time if we let him," "yes,
yes, yes, and yes," then Brain will almost certainly fall "victim"
to a well-designed behavior trap baited with all manner of motorcycle
stuff.

Another important indicator of effective bait is the student's history
of involvement with the activity or topic. If Brian has been interested
in motorcycles for as long as anyone can remember, they will almost
certainly prove to be excellent bait. If his love affair with motorcycles
is relatively recent, however, motorcycle bait may be ineffective
once the novelty wears off.

Some specific tactics for discovering a student's interests:

* Ask the student who his or her heroes are. They might be athletes,
TV stars, cartoon characters, musicians, or comic book heroes. Children'
s idols make particularly tasty trap bait.

* Ask the student what she or he is "really into." These interests
might include computer games, cooking, building model cars, playing
basketball, collecting insects, or drawing pictures.

* Ask the student's parents and peers if there are any activities
that the student spends most his or her free time doing.

* Observe the student's disruptive behaviors for the possibility of
turning them into positive traps (like Carlos's baseball cards). Some
undesirable behaviors, such as passing notes or throwing paper airplanes
in class, can be used as bait for a trap and turned into positive
learning experiences.

* Provide a variety of activities for students to sample in order
to see if they develop a strong interest. Like the young man who had
never gone bowling before but was quickly "hooked" once he had the
experience, a student given the opportunity to read stories to the
kindergarten class or to take Polaroid pictures and write captions
for a classroom scrapbook might develop a strong enough interest so
that those activities can function as effective bait.

It is possible (in fact, quite often likely) that the most powerful
bait available--the student's most preferred mania--is far from the
teacher's first choice. Within the limits of legal, ethical, and moral
considerations, however, the teacher should resist placing value judgments
on the student's interests. Curtis, for example, believes that Dennis
Rodman is the coolest guy in the world, and if given the chance, he
would read about his hero all morning long. Although his teacher may
think Curtis could use a better role model than the roughhouse basketball
player, he should realize and appreciate that Mr. Rodman is helping
Curtis practice the target skill of reading. Understandably, most
teachers would prefer that their students read The Prince and the
Pauper rather than a Spiderman comic book. But without the reading
skills they acquire with the help of their favorite comic book superheroes,
some students may never be capable of reading "good literature."

Step 3: Set the Trap

Once some powerful bait has been selected, use it to set the trap.
No trap will be effective unless it is placed within "the path" of
its intended prey. Like the householder with his or her mousetrap,
the teacher must bait and set a behavior trap so the student can'
t help but "smell the cheese." Remember too: Behavior traps must be
easy to enter. Be sure to place enough good, fresh bait at the mouth
of the trap to lure the student in. Using stale bait or not enough
bait will be ineffective (e.g., a two-paragraph newspaper story about
Dennis Rodman that Curtis has already read three times). Don't "give
away the store," either. Curtis may just have to sit down during reading
to see the first part of a story, but to learn all the new "dope"
on his hero, he may need to write and/or answer questions about the
first part.

Don't make it hard for the student to find or discover the trap. Place
it "right under his nose."

Some possible strategies for setting behavior traps are as follows:


* Form a classroom club. Clubs provide many possibilities for learning
and practicing academic and social skills. For example, a student
who is lured into a cooking club soon finds himself practicing a wide
range of academic skills: reading recipes, following directions, measuring
volume, adding and multiplying fractions, and discovering science
concepts. His social skills also get a good workout as he and the
members of his cooking "team" must learn to cooperate, negotiate,
and be polite to one another while developing menu plans.

* Get help from student confederates. Ask popular students to include
the target student in their group. They are usually more than willing
to help just to get their teacher's approval. If the social reinforcement
is not enough to initiate the invitation, tangible reinforcement should
be considered, then gradually faded out. If this seems a little dubious
ethically, focus on the outcome. Once the target student is accepted
into a reinforcing peer group trap that will extend his social skills
and make the time he spends in school much more pleasant, the potential
ethical concern becomes irrelevant.

* Give the student a job that matches her interests with academic
target skills. For example, the classroom tattler might be given the
role of classroom recorder, writing and reporting a record of the
good things other students are doing. This would be an effective way
to develop and extend the student's writing and speaking skills.

* Get help from other teachers and other members of the community.
Target students can be teachers' helpers, provide assistance in an
early childhood or special education class, or join a community service
group to help others who are less fortunate. Outside school supports
are important sources of behavior traps.

Step 4: Maintain Your Trap Line

Don't overwork your trap. To ensure success, expect and be pleased
with small prey at first, gradually expecting more as you progressively
discover the capability of your trap. It is very important to start
small. Introduce skills with which the student has experienced some
success previously, and then gradually build on those skills. Do not
bombard the student, or the natural reinforcer will lose its effect.
Even though Nina is crazy about insects, making her write a 10-page
research report on the topic--especially if her research and writing
skills are not well developed--could destroy the power of insects
as good bait. Instead, her teacher might start by simply having her
classify insects by their appearance, then perhaps go on to labeling
them, writing brief descriptions about her favorite "bugs," and so
on. Eventually, Nina might very well be producing 10-page reports
with all the detail of an experienced entomologist, but only if her
teacher uses the insect trap wisely and judiciously. If Nina begins
to express distaste for the skills expected, her teacher is overworking
the trap and should probably back off.

Remember that fresh bait is requisite to an effective trap line. Stale
bait is a weak and ineffective lure. Stay on the look-out for new
activities, new materials, and new skills that will prevent satiation.


Finally, give the trap a rest periodically; traps left out in the
elements eventually corrode and must be discarded Do not wait until
the student loses her enthusiasm before bringing the trap inside,
away from the elements. By keeping a student away from his or her
obsession every now and then, the teacher creates a little deprivation
that will help keep the trap in good working order.

Step 5: Appraise Your Catch

Look for evidence that you've captured the right prey: noticeable
changes in the student's performance and use of the targeted skills.
Regular and direct assessments of the target skill will help you decide
if your catch is "big enough to keep." When a trap proves ineffective,
try to ascertain why it is not working and make the necessary adjustments.
You may also wish to create and set out another trap. Whenever a trap
yields a substantial catch, both teacher and student should celebrate!
Continue to maintain and extend a successful trap's operation. You
may eventually find that the student becomes so adept with his or
her new skills, the trap may no longer be necessary.

TWENTY-FIVE PRACTICAL BEHAVIOR TRAPS

Theoretically, a student can be caught in as many different behavior
traps as opportunity permits. Although behavior traps are truly individualized,
what serves as effective bait for one student often catches some
additional prey as well because many of our students share the same
macroculture. The following specific behavior traps are organized
into five categories: hero traps, fetish traps, classroom club traps,
school and community resource traps, and turning-around-behaviors-
that-annoy-you traps.

Hera Traps

Many children have heroes. These real or fictitious people are often
promoted by our culture through the media, which provides many resources
for teachers to use. Hero traps share in common many of the same potential
activities that serve to maintain and extend academic and social skills.
Begin by finding as many books, magazines, posters, stickers, CDs,
videos, audiotapes, and/or computer games as you can find to lure
the student. Six hero traps are the musician trap, the famous athlete
trap, the cartoon character trap, the TV trap, the movie star trap,
and the comic book trap. The following are suggestions for student
activities using hero traps.

1. Language arts. Students can write letters to the hero or fan club
asking for signed photographs; write scripts or stories using the
heroes as characters; pretend to interview the heroes; write titles
of the heroes' songs, movies, or TV shows in alphabetical order; classify
the heroes' movies, songs, and so forth; and read about their heroes.

2. Math. Students can use promotional cups from fast-food restaurants
to practice regrouping or classifying; do math drill games featuring
the their heroes; use averaging, counting, fractions, or statistics
for recording things like home runs, batting averages, foul shots,
rebounds, or touchdowns by favorite athletes; listen to songs by
musician heroes and record the durations, then use these numbers for
adding, subtracting, multiplying, dividing, and/or averaging; find
out how much money their heroes make per year and divide it into dollars
per month, week, day, or hour; and create a budget using the hero'
s salary.

3. Curriculum content areas. Students can find the geographic location
of the hero's birthplace, concert tours, or sport schedule; make a
time line of the hero's career; and find information about the hero'
s place of birth.

Fetish Traps

The word fetish usually evokes unsavory images. After all, the dictionary
tells us that a fetish is "an abnormally obsessive preoccupation or
attachment; a fixation" (American Heritage Dictionary, 1992). But
not all fetishes are bad! A fetish trap can be set around just about
any topic or activity with which a student is preoccupied. Three examples
are the motorcycle trap, the race car trap, and the horse trap. Students
can engage in fetish trap activities in the following areas:

1. Language arts. Students can draw pictures and write stories, research
the topic, give oral reports, write descriptions, alphabetize the
different types, and read about the fetish of their choice.

2. Math. Students can classify types, compare prices, compare speeds,
and use prices and speeds as numbers for any basic math operation.

 3. Curriculum content areas. Students can research the history of
the fetish (e.g., the winners of the Kentucky Derby for the past 10
years); build on physical science concepts such as momentum, stopping
distance, friction, and wheels and axles; and find geographic locations
(e.g., motorcycles from Japan, England, and Germany).

Classroom Club Traps

Classroom club traps are particularly effective for building social
skills such as negotiating, beginning and ending conversations, and
asking for and offering help. Possible academic activities will vary
for each club. Nine classroom club traps are described below.

1. Gameboy(R) club trap. Students can explain how to play, write directions,
classify games, alphabetize games, share strategies, and graph scores.

2. Cooking club trap. Students can read and follow directions, measure,
apply science concepts, classify and alphabetize recipes for a club
cookbook, conduct an opinion survey on foods cooked, and compare temperatures
and cooking times.

3. Model building club trap. Students can read and follow directions,
measure, compare lengths and widths, estimate distances and time
needed to build, and use numerical data for graphing.

4. Sports team trap. Students can keep score; graph outcomes of a
series of games; measure time duration of games; and practice speed,
endurance, strength, and dexterity.

5. Science club trap. Students can collect rocks, shells, leaves,
or insects; classify items; measure and weigh items; research a topic
of interest and write reports; and give oral presentations.

6. Computer club trap. Students can do math drills, choose their own
adventure reading, write stories, problem solve with simulations,
and create graphics (the academic skills for computer club activities
are limited only by the software).

7. Classroom newsletter club trap. Students can conduct interviews,
write book and movie reviews, report on athletic events, report on
classroom events, make illustrations, write captions, write riddles,
design advertisements, and design layout.

8. Classroom store club trap. Students can inventory supplies, count
money, calculate change, write purchase orders, calculate profits
and/or losses, and be cordial when serving customers.

9. Baseball card club trap. Students can find geographic locations
of teams and players, alphabetize players' names, classify by positions
or teams, calculate averages, and compare and interpret statistics.


School and Community Resource Traps

Four examples of school and community traps and their corresponding
activities are as follows:

1. Teacher's helper trap. Students can read aloud to younger children,
peer tutor younger children, correct papers, measure and cut bulletin
board items, count field trip money, sort students' papers, and proofread
students' papers.

2. Band or chorus trap. Students can practice social skills, read
music and/or lyrics, and practice organization skills (like coming
on time with appropriate materials).

3. Safety patrol trap. Students can practice social skills, write
a daily log or journal of experiences, and count and graph times when
intervening is necessary.

4. Community service trap. Students can practice social skills, find
opportunities for volunteer work, and develop the skills necessary
for performing the type of service they will be providing.

Turning-Around-Behaviors-That-Annoy-You Traps

Three behavior traps in this category are the paper airplane trap,
the note-passing trap, and the tattle-tail trap. The secret to the
effectiveness of these traps is having a controlled time and procedure
in which the usually annoying and inappropriate behaviors can be used
positively.

1. Paper airplane trap. Students can measure flight distances, experiment
to find out which design is best for each kind of flight, write step-
by-step directions for making paper airplanes, explain to other students
how to make paper airplanes, and read and follow directions from books
about making various airplane designs.

2. Note-passing trap. Students can write notes to peers, read notes
from peers, and write responses to peers.

3. Tattle-tail trap. Students can write about the positive behaviors
of other students, keep an ongoing record of classroom events, and
read recorded observations to the class at the end of each day or
week.

CONCLUSION

What do baseball cards, horses, motorcycles, Dennis Rodman, and bugs
have in common? Although not likely to appear on many teachers' lists
of neccesary instructional materials, for Carlos, Shakela, Brian,
Curtis, and Nina, these seemingly unrelated entities provided the
motivation to learn and practice important skills. Once caught, these
students showed little interest in escaping the traps their teachers
had set for them. They did, however, display a great deal more interest
in and enjoyment of school.

By Sheila R. Alber and William L. Heward


Authors' Note

Support for this article was provided by a Leadership Training Grant
(H029D10054) from the Office of Special Education and Rehabilitation
Services, U.S. Department of Education.

Sheila R. Alber, MEd, is a doctoral student in special education and
applied behavior analysis at The Ohio State University. William L.
Heward, EdD, is a professor of special education and coordinator of
the applied behavior analysis program at The Ohio State University.

DOES TELEVISION INFLUENCE AGGRESSION IN CHILDREN?

Many parents feel the burden of their children who have either become violent at a early age when they are vulnerable or at a age when they are adolescents influenced by a array of objects which are a norm of society. However how a child becomes violent can be due to a number of factors in society, which according to researchers at Stanford University in the United States include decreasing the exposure of children to television and videos could reduce some of the negative effects of electronic media such as violence and teasing. According to the study by the age of 18, children in the US will have witnessed an estimated 200,000 acts of violence. If they witness a continuous diet of aggressive, anti-social behaviour then it is little wonder that those who are more impressionable than others will act out what they see in real life. Furthermore teasing, hitting and other forms of violence can, for some children, become common ways of interacting with their peers. The onus, it seems, is on parents to help children find alternatives to endless hours of television viewing. It may even mean spending more time with them. Television and other forms of electronic media have their place. What parent has not been thankful at some stage for the electronic baby-sitter that sits in the corner of the family room with its magical powers to keep children amused. But increasingly it appears that there needs to be limits, boundaries and a fair amount of parental discretion used when kids interact with electronic media. That means mastering the television rather than being its slave.

Take the quiz at http://www.parentingideas.com.au/howwell.html to find out how well you know your children.

As Angela Schwindth once said " While we try to teach our children about life, our children teach us what life is all about".



 
Top Ten Ways to Support Someone in Being Their Best
by Michael Angier

One of the greatest responsibilities we have is to support ourselves and others in living at our highest and best. Whether we're parents, partners, friends or leaders, it's incumbent upon us to help others to live as close to their unique potential as we can.

With everything we say and do, we're influencing positively or negatively the people we care about. The ideal is to do this with consideration and intention. Here are ten ways you can help others see and realize the best that's within them.

1. Believe in Them
We all have self-doubts from time to time. Our confidence is shaken. We lack the faith in our talents and skills to go for an important promotion or launch a new initiative. Having someone believe in you at these times is priceless. The stories of great men and women are saturated with examples of someone who believed in them even when they didn't fully believe in themselves.

2. Encourage Them
"You can do it." "I know you can." These are words that are all-too-infrequently voiced. Sincere encouragement can go a long way in helping someone stay the course. The more specific you are, the better the results. "I remember when you got through your slump last year and ended up winning the sales contest. I'm willing to bet that you'll do even better this time."

3. Expect a Lot
We're often told not to get our hopes up. We're encouraged to have REALISTIC expectations. But when it comes to helping others operate at their best, we sometimes have to up-level our expectations. This can be taken to extremes, but there are many times when a teacher, a parent or even a boss has required more of us than we thought we were capable. And we've risen to the challenge which enabled us to see further than before.
4. Tell the Truth
And tell it with compassion. We often avoid telling the hard truth because we don't want to upset anyone. We want to be NICE. But telling the truth is a loving act. You may be the only person who can or will say to another what needs to be said. And you can confront someone without being combative.

5. Be a Role Model
One of the best ways we influence is by our own actions. Who we are speaks much more loudly than what we say. Don't think that people aren't watching you. They are. And they're registering everything about you consciously and unconsciously. We automatically emulate our role models. And we're ALL role models to someone so let's be good ones.

6. Share Yourself
Too often, we miss the value of sharing our failings. We don't want to be vulnerable so we hold back. In doing so, we deprive others of our experience, our learning and our humanity. When you share from your own experienceespecially your failuresyou increase empathy, you're more approachable and you increase your relatability to others.

7. Challenge Them
The word "challenge" has some negative connotations. The meaning we're using here is, "a test of one's abilities or resources in a demanding but stimulating undertaking." We all need to be challenged from time to time. Doing it for another is an art form. Go too far and it will backfire. Go too easy and you will appear patronizing. Remind people of their commitment to being their best and state your challenge. "I challenge you to overcome these unimportant opinions and get on with the real task at hand, get the job done, make the commitment, etc."

8. Ask Good Questions
A good therapist or coach doesn't tell their clients what to do. They ask good questions in order for the client to understand themselves better, to get clear on what the issue is and from there to make good choices. You can do the same. By asking elegant questions, you cause people to think and come up with solutions. They'll appreciate it. Gary Lockwood has a good article about this called Asking Intelligent Questions with Impact.

9. Acknowledge Them
You find what you're looking for. If you're looking for the best in someone, you'll see it. If you're looking for their failings, you'll see those. Catch people doing things right and tell them. When we acknowledge the good deeds of others, they tend to do more of them. Write a note. Send a card. Give them a call. Praise them in front of others.

10. Spend Time with Them
We love what we give our time to. By devoting your most precious resource (time) to another individual, you're showing them that you truly value them and your relationship with them. Invest time in your relationships; it's what life is made of.

 

The following  opinions was send by Liz who mentioned in a email  that these statements reflect what women have always believed in:

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch. When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch. When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.
Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me. When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish. It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!

So, try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed. And if that makes me a bitch, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

B - Babe I - In T - Total C - Control of H - Herself

B = Beautiful I = Intelligent T = Talented C = Charming H = Hell of a Woman

B = Beautiful I = Individual T = That C = Can H = Handle anything

 

INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE - Some guiding pointers and tips that may work!

Source: An email circulating in a poetry email group

1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

2. Memorise your favourite poem.

3. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

4. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

5. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

7. Believe in love at first sight.

8. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have
dreams don't have much.

9. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

10. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

11. Don't judge people by their relatives.

12. Talk slowly but think quickly.

13. When someone asks you a question you don't want
to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

14. Remember that great love and great achievements
involve great risk.

16. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

17. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

18. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for
others; Responsibility for all your actions.

19. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

20. When you realise you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

21. Smile when picking up the telephone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

22. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

23. Spend some time alone.

24. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

25. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

26. Read more books and watch less TV.

27. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time.

28. Trust in God but lock your car.

29. A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do all you can to create a tranquil harmonious home.

30. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

31. Read between the lines.

32. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

33. Be gentle with the earth.

34. Pray. There's immeasurable power in it.

35. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.

36. Mind your own business.

37. Don't trust a man/woman who doesn't close his/her eyes when you kiss.

38. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

39. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction.

40. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck.

41. Learn the rules then break some.

42. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other.

43. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

44. Remember that your character is your destiny.

45. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.